The 2017 Tour of Sufferlandria
Get it in your diary and prepare for nine straight days of Sufferfest videos. The 2017 Tour of Sufferlandria, the Greatest Grand Tour of a Mythical Nation, is from the 4th to the 12th of February. Official Patrons are Davis Phinney and Connie Carpenter and all donations benefit the Davis Phinney Foundation. In 2016, more than 3,000 Sufferlandrians raised $125,000 for the DPF.
HOW THE TOS WORKS
- The Tour of Sufferlandria is about doing 9 days of Sufferfest videos in a row. You do the rides from the relative discomfort of your own home or in a group at one of our Officially Licensed Facilities.
- STARTING FROM 10 JANUARY -- REGISTER: for the Tour by making at least a $10 USD donation to the Davis Phinney Foundation. For every $10 USD you donate, you earn one chance in our prize pool (so if you donate, say, $100, you earn 10 chances in our prize pool). Even better: Start a fundraising page and ask your friends to donate to your cause. Each $10 you raise also earns you a chance to win.
- There are two ways you can do The Tour:
- Get The Sufferfest App and Subscribe. You'll need it to do the required stages. You can get it for Windows, Mac, iPad and iPhone here: https://thesufferfest.com/pages/app . The cost is $10 USD/month and you can cancel at any time - so, if you like, you can sign up, ride the Tour and cancel...only spending $10 to ride the Tour.
- Join The Tour at a Sufferlandrian Embassy near you. We have more than 130 cycling studios around the world licensed to play The Sufferfest videos and there is nothing quite like visiting Sufferlandria with a group.
- Customise your Race number and post as your profile pic on social media so we know you're riding. You can find the links to the number below.
- Download the Official Tour Handbook here.
- Then get on and ride the video(s) for each stage of the Tour on the day specified. You DO NOT have to track or tell us or anyone whether you do the stages or how hard you ride. You are a Sufferlandrian, we trust you will do justice to the course.
- Be sure to join in the Tour of Sufferlandria Facebook group -it's the Official Race Village and where all the trash-talk happens. It’s awesome fun.
- Once it's over, you will have accomplished something truly incredible. HONOR, GLORY and VICTORY will be yours.
* It’s not really a race – it’s just you against yourself and whether you can push yourself for 9 days straight.
** Thanks to the wonders of a round planet and multiple timezones, each ‘Day’ on the Tour of Sufferlandria starts and finishes at the International Date Line. Practically, that means you have a 50 hour window in which to complete each stage. We’ll have a complete breakdown nearer the start of the Tour.
OFFICIAL ARTWORK BY ARTIST GREGORY BALDWIN
You can buy the Official Race poster. Available in two versions: one with a male rider and one with a female rider. All profits from sale of posters donated to the Davis Phinney Foundation. Get them at at RedBubble.
THE 2017 RACE NUMBER
Download the template to create your own ToS 2017 Race number. Just change whatever you like, do a screen shot and post as your profile pic on social media. Instructions in the document.
THE 2017 STAGES
Stage 1, Sat 4th Feb: Igniter + The Long Scream
Stage 2, Sun 5th Feb: The Way Out + Power Station presented by Thomson Bike Tours.
Stage 3, Mon 6th Feb: The Omnium
Stage 4, Tue 7th Feb: Angels
Stage 5, Wed 8th Feb: Nine Hammers
Stage 6, Thu 9th Feb: There is No Try
Stage 7, Fri 10th Feb: Hell Hath No Fury
Stage 8, Sat 11 Feb: Revolver + RIE + Half is Easy presented by Wattbike
Stage 9, Sun 12 Feb: ISLTA presented by Wahoo Fitness
2017 PRIZE LIST!
Thanks to our generous sponsors we've managed to put together a prize list that equals the grandeur of this year's Tour. Over $30,000 USD worth of prizes. Our winners are below. Please read carefully and pay attention as some people won multiple prizes. Instructions on what to do are with each prize. If it says 'we will post it to you,' we will send it to the address of your donation records -- you don't need to do anything else. Congrats to everyone!
Thomson Bike Tours Spring Classics Challenge
RECIPIENT: Les Bale, Glasgow (Please email firstname.lastname@example.org)
If you thought the Tour of Sufferlandria was epic, just wait until you tackle this 10-day dream cycling holiday to the birthplace of hardmen and women. You'll conquer the final 100km of Flanders, including the notorious Paterberg and Koppenberg - spend the week riding the final 100 km of each of the Ardennes Classics, Liege-Bastogne-Liege, Amstel Gold and La Flèche Wallone, before finishing in grand style at the Official Paris-Roubaix Gran Fondo, a grueling 170 km with 28 cobbled sections. You'll cap off a thrilling cycling week with VIP race viewing of the start, middle, and glorious Velodrome finish of the 2017 “Hell of the North,” Paris-Roubaix.
RECIPIENT: Guillermo Tijerina, Edinburg (Please email email@example.com)
Wahoo Fitness knows how to help you maximise your Return on Suffering. Their Ultimate Wahooligan Bundle includes everything you would possibly need for the most epic indoor and outdoor rides, including:
- New KICKR indoor trainer
- Cycling desk
- KICKR mat
- ELEMNT GPS bike computer
- TICKR X heart rate monitor
- RPM speed sensor
- RPM cadence sensor (included with the KICKR)
RECIPIENT: Liam Klatt, Bend (Please email firstname.lastname@example.org)
Wattbike is the indoor cycling trainer of choice for some of the fastest pros on two wheels. Wattbike's infinitely-tunable magnetic and wind resistance, coupled with power, speed, cadence, and advanced pedalling dynamics, makes it the ideal piece of kit for riders who want to get the most out of their indoor training. Once again Wattbike is offering one of their next-level indoor training platforms to a lucky Sufferlandrian. Will it be you?
SIGNED ITEMS BY THE PROS
- Cycling jersey autographed by the Cannondale-Drapac Pro Cycling Team: We will post it to you: Chris Izenour.
- UCI 2016 Cycling Annual Book signed by Brian Cookson: We will post it to you David Hancock (UK)
- 2 x Unique limited edition cycling kit (jersey and shorts sized to winner) designed with Taylor Phinney artwork: Please send sizes to email@example.com: Guy Hunter (Chesterfield), Darryl Banks (Baynton)
- CoreStates Championship jersey autographed by Davis Phinney (XXL): We will post to you Adam Zivin (Seattle)
- Rally Sport Jacket signed by Neal Henderson (MD): We will post to you Jody Yoken (Toronto)
- United Healthcare Jersey signed by Kiel Reijnen (SM): We will post to you Anna Sloan (North Bend)
- Hincapie BMC 2011 jersey signed by Taylor Phinney in Medium (Worn) + Hincapie Gran Fondo musette: We will post to you Ethan Perlyn
- UCI - MTB XCO jersey signed by Nino Shurter and Annika Langvad: We will post it to you Nathan Koch (Bingen)
- Trek jersey signed by the Trek team (XS): We will post it to you Manny Glisson (Napa)
FANTASTIC THINGS YOU NEED AND HOPE TO WIN
- 3 x Wahoo Element Bundles: We will post to you: Douglas Rusho (Fairport), Alan Ptak (Mountain View), Dennis Driscoll (NJ)
- Quarq SRAM RED DZERO POWER METER CHASSIS: We will post to you Nemo Brauch (Nags Head)
- 2 x case of UnTapped Nutrition: We will post to you Iain Calton (London), Scott Frisby
- Quarq DZERO CARBON POWER METER CHASSIS: We will post to you David Higginson (Wailuku)
- 2 x C-Bear Ceramic Bearing Product of Winner's Choice: Please email firstname.lastname@example.org: Stephen Magee (Durham), Michael Thivierge (Ottawa)
- 2 x Chris King bottom bracket or headset: Please email email@example.com: Stephen Irvine (Edinburgh), Mark Willis (Montmorency)
- 2 x Gift certificate for Stages Cycling Power Meter: We will post to you: Pascal Pépin (Boucherville), Ethan Perlyn
- APEX Coaching "Race Director" 12-wk personalized training plan: Please email firstname.lastname@example.org: Glenn Thompson
- Velocio Jacket: Please email size to email@example.com: William Weymer (Poulsbo)
- 3 x Rapha Pro Team FlyWeight Glasses + 1 Rapha Cap: We will post to you Jason Mellet (SA), Shayne Kennedy (Costa Del Mar), Spencer Roberts (AZ)
- 4 x Pair Giro SLX Bike shoes (sized to winner): Please email size to firstname.lastname@example.org: Vikram Penumalli (Greensboro), Greg Jarvela (Isanti), James Dobbs (Lafayette), David Cummings (Mosow)
- 4 x Giro Aeon Helmet (sized to winner): Please email size to email@example.com: Gavin Targonski, Knud Langelund, Michael Taylor (High Wycombe), John Melvin (Missoula)
- Oakley Frogskin sunglasses (green fade frame, prism daily polarized): We will post to you: Francisco Velez (Chevy Chase)
- Oakley Mark Cavendish signature series sunglasses (polished white frame with jade iridium lens): We will post to you: Richard Klein (Greenwich)
- Oakley Prizm (polished white frame, prism road lens): We will post to you Martin Griffen (Bethesda)
- Oakley TdF collection sunglasses (frame polished white, lens OO Red iridium polarized): We will post to you Michael Ruff (Niceville)
- Oakley Mark Cavendish signature sunglasses (met green frame, jade iridium lens): We will post to you Rob Walston (Bournemouth)
- 2 x Tineli Graham Watson Jersey (LG) + signed Graham Watson print poster: We will post it to you: Matt Watkins (Cheltenham), James Leeming (Las vegas)
- Apres Velo Breakaway Tee (Men's): Please email firstname.lastname@example.org with size Luke Ramsey (Seoul)
- Apres Velo Steel Power Tee (Men's): Please email email@example.com with size Michael Filipovic (Seattle)
- Apres Velo Le Bike Jacket (Men's): Please email firstname.lastname@example.org with size Matthew Wakefiled (London)
- Apres Velo 7th Day Spinner Tee (Women's): Please email email@example.com with size Jill Lawrance (Victoria)
- Apres Velo Steel Power Tee (Women's): Please email firstname.lastname@example.org with size Brittany Williams (Eliot)
- Apres Velo Unchained Love Sleepwear Set: Please email email@example.com with size Tim Thomas (Bellevue)
- Giro Classic Racer Low cycling socks (MD): We will post to you: Christopher Baer (Parkridge)
- Giro Classic Racer Low cycling socks (SM): We will post to you: Shanna Cleveland (Somerville)
- Bicycle Sport Shop (Austin, TX) Water bottle + T-shirt (LG): We will post to you Liz Buchan (Lichfield)
- 12oz Polar Bottle Water Bottle in Yellow: We will post to you Michael Smith (Pennington)
- Trek USPS Jersey (XL) + Trek polar bottle: We will post to you Anthony Tugwell (Godlming)
- 2 x Trek musette + Trek cycling cap + pair Trek cycling gloves + Trek keychain: We will post it to you Ethan Perlyn, Daniel Frisina (Shandy)
- USPS Pearl Izumi jersey (XL): We will post to you Guillermo Tijerina (Edinburg)
- BMC cycling jacket size Medium + BMC cycling cap: We will post to you G. Petur Nielsen (Belmont)
- BMC Pearl Izumi arm warmers + BMC Pearl Izumi 2016 mesh jersey in M/L: We will post to you John Metz
- 2 x BMC cycling cap: We will post to you Douglas Rusho, Peter Spender
- BMC baseball hat: We will post to you Michelle Edwards (Houston)
- USA Pro Challenge Osprey backpack in black: We will post to you Ethan Perlyn
- Tour de Cuisine Cookbook - Favourite recipes of the top cycling pros: We will post to you Cicily Chun (Boca Raton)
- 9 x Pearl Izumi water bottle + 1 grey pearl izumi tee (various men's sizes): We will post to you: Thomas Niccum (Jersey City), Rod Hines (San Jose), Barry Brandl (Fort St. John), Neal Gibson (Yellville), Richard Robertson (Columbia), Jamie Ganterton (Addlestone), Marie-France Therrien (Gatineau), Anneke Prins (Hemel Hempsted), Angie Brennan (Soldotna)
- 3 x Pearl Izumi ELITE Tall socks in Large + Pearl Izumi bike gloves size Large: We will post to you Peter Collins (Kingsteignton), Rob Walston (Bournemouth), MIchelle Slusher (Boulder), Stephen Magee (Durham)
- Cycling themed art: red wall clock with bike gear for numbers - artist unknown: We will post it to you: Ethan Perlyn (Miami Beach)
- 6 x $20 Gift Certificate for VeloInk.com (stickers): Please email firstname.lastname@example.org: Pete Spender (Bloomfield Towns), Stephen Magee (Durham), Nic Panatopoulous (Los Gatos), Andrew Wells (Randwick), David Copmton (Bethel), Diana Lindquist (Cincinnati)
- 5 x Year Free Sufferfest App Subscription: This week we will credit the accounts of: Steve McCarthy (Seattle), Eleanor Mather (Earl Shilton), Mike Garner (Liss), Kevin Foley (Fairfax), Whitney Hill (Katonah)
- Set Sufferfest Stem & Bar Ends: Ethan Perlyn (Miami Beach)
- 2 x Pair Sufferfest Socks: Please email email@example.com with style and size needed from Gear page: Michael Scholfield (St. Petersburg), Pam Neuendorf (Gulfport)
- 2 x Sufferfest Holy Water Shirt: Please email jared@thesufferfest. com with size & color needed from Gear page: Massi Coe (Marblehead), Ivan Petrovich (Bethesda)
- 1 ToS 2017 Poster Signed by GvA: We will post it to you Daniel Pass, Winston Salem
- Set Sufferfest National Team Kit (Jersey, Bibs, Socks, Cap): Please send sizes (see Gear page) to firstname.lastname@example.org: Greg Iszler (Novi)
- 2 x Sufferfest Jersey: Please send size to email@example.com: John Cassidy (Gahanna), John Melvin (Missoula)
- Jersey and socks from Pedla: Please send sizes to firstname.lastname@example.org: Terry Lazerou (Can)
OUR CHARITABLE PARTNER
OUR TOUR PATRONS
Davis Phinney is one of our heroes from the 80s, was a professional cyclist who won, amongst other things, two stages of the Tour de France. His wife, Connie Carpenter, was the 1984 Olympic Gold Medalist in the Women’s Road Race and a World Champion on the track. Davis, who has Parkinson’s disease, set up the Davis Phinney Foundation to help people with Parkinson’s live better lives now. Davis and Connie are our ToS 2016 Race Patrons. Their son is Taylor Phinney of the Cannondale-Drapac Pro Cycling Team.
Let me get this right. The Tour of Sufferlandria is simply doing one or more Sufferfest videos over 9 days as listed in the Official Route? Correct.
Is it a race? No. It is simply you against yourself to see whether you can push yourself for 9 days. We believe you can.
Where does it take place? In your Bike Torture Chamber, Pain Cave or whatever you call it. Or join a group at one of our Official Sufferlandrian Embassies.
How do I sign up? You register by making a $10 donation to our partner charity, The Davis Phinney Foundation. For every $10 you donate, you’ll have one chance to win one of the amazing prizes.
But how will you know I did the videos? We trust you. But we'll also see on the app.
Do I have to do all the stages? Yes. Of course, you can skip one or more. But then you’ll know. And you probably won’t be able to forgive yourself for that.
For stages with more than one video, do I have to do the videos back-to-back? Yes. You wouldn’t take a break halfway through a Tour de France or Giro stage so why would you expect less of the Tour of Sufferlandria?
Do I have to do them on the exact dates? You actually have a 50 hour window in which to do each stage thanks to the wonder of a round planet and multiple time zones. We'll have a countdown clock for each stage so you know what the exact time windows are.
Do I have to have the app in order to complete The ToS? Yes - many of the stages feature videos that are only available on The Sufferfest Training Centre App.
I don't have the app so I'll just make up my own stages and do the Tour. That's cool, right? You can do that, but then you're not doing the Tour.
What kind of bike do I need for this? Can I do it on rollers? As long as you can Suffer on it, we don’t care what kind of machine you use.
I’m planning on peaking for Paris-Roubaix, the Tour de France and the World Championships. Do you think the ToS is the right prep? Of course! What else are you going to do – Paris-Nice or some easy race like that? C’mon. Let’s get back to the old-school way of preparing for big goals and suffer like greased pigs in January!
I guess I'm going to get hungry? What do I eat? Check out our nutrition advice for getting through the Tour.
RELIVE PAST TOURS OF SUFFERLANDRIA
Tour of Sufferlandria 2015 & 2016: