Revolver - It's simple, it's brutal and it lies to you!

Revolver... hello, old friend! Do you remember that time we first met? I certainly do. It was a sunny miserable day outside and I was yet unacquainted with the joys of Suffering. This was a sad and dark time in my life. But there you were, Revolver, and there I was. Standing uncertain at the threshold of my bike torture chamber, Legs naively unaware of the pummelling about to befall them. I had purchased my first turbo trainer with the best intentions, but I hadn't used it in the three months since. ENTER SUFFERLANDRIA, you beckoned. And I, like a lemming, obliged. 

I was never so enterPAINed (to, what felt like, within an inch of my life) and I never felt more motivated to get back on the bike and try again. But don't take my word for it... 

here's what your fellow sufferlandrians are saying about revolver

This statement is both so right and yet so wrong at the same time:

Counting has never been Grunter von Agony's forte either:

 It's simple, it's brutal, and it was my first too!

Sufferlandrians, like elephants, never forget. Sir James Tyson is referring to Stage 2 of the 2016 Tour of Sufferlandria. Grunter said do Revolver twice and we did. It was beautiful!

Few chamois will ever be the same after that day.

the workout

Simple. Brutal. Effective. You're on. You're off/sobbing. You go hard and then do your absolute best to bring down your heart rate before it's time to obliterate yourself again. This workout stresses your VO2 and anaerobic system, so it's ideal for building your top end speed. Mercifully, all this happens in about 45 minutes, so you can easily crush it before work, at lunch or after the kids go to sleep.



the footage

Revolver combines footage from the track, downhill MTB, men's and women's road World Championships and Cyclocross World Championships. It was hard, but we packed in more Badass Visuals Per Cubic Second than ever before. Not that you'll get to see much of it, because you'll be blind from all the agony. 

 

Just remember, you're being chased by Fluffy the -T-Rex at all times (so whatever you do don't look back).

the music

The soundtrack to Revolver is a fan favourite, with classics like "Stand and Deliver",  "Romeo Returns" and "Whiskey" that keep Sufferlandrians coming back for more Revolver. Here are all the songs the Minions could find on Spotify - almost the entire soundtrack!

Who should do revolver?

Revolver is a fantastic first Sufferfest workout. It will blow you up into a million little pieces and help you understand what we're all about here - we know you'll be hooked! Revolver is PERFECT for criterium, track and cyclocross racers and non-serious cyclists who just want to get an enterPAINing workout in under an hour.

We also recommend that Revolver be used when one of your friends casually says "Pffft... Sufferfest?! How hard could it really be?" Keep the gleeful laughter to a minimum - until they've tried it, that is.

tips for getting the most out of revolver

Revolver is a perfect analogy for the theory of relativity. One minute* alternately feels so brief (during the recoveries) and yet SO F@C4!%G LONG (during the interval). My strategy has always been to break down the high intensity segment into two chunks of 30 seconds or four blocks of 15 seconds. Survive each mini-portion and then survive the next (and so on).

You'll also want to...

  • Make sure your energy stores and hydration are quite high prior to starting Revolver.
  • Have a bucket and 2-3 towels at the ready - much holy water will be spilt!
  • Pace yourself by not killing yourself in the first 30 seconds but finishing STRONG. We want you to be strong throughout the entire high intensity interval. 

*The recovery intervals are generally a bit shorter than one minute... Grunter's gift to you!

    other ways to ride revolver

    Just because the intervals are all the same doesn't mean you can't get a little creative...

    • BEGINNER: Just finish it - nail EVERY interval.
    • INTERMEDIATE: Build your cadence from 100 RPM to 110 RPM in the final 15 seconds, all while maintaining the highest possible output.
    • ADVANCED: Ride the intervals at 110-130 RPM - but keep your hips stable and do not rock in the saddle.

    Have you ridden Revolver differently? Make sure to leave instructions in the comments.

    now what?

    Unleash your inner Speed Demon with Revolver! You can purchase Revolver here, and app subscribers can stream or download the video for the ultimate experience.

     

     



    Jared McClintock
    Jared McClintock

    Author



    4 Responses

    Gus Munro
    Gus Munro

    October 01, 2016

    Thanks for that. Somehow, I’d managed to suppress Stage 2 of the Tour from my memory. And now it all comes flooding back…

    Somhairle MacCormick
    Somhairle MacCormick

    September 13, 2016

    I love this one, but I have a tendancy to count the intervals so I say at 4 a quarter down, not so bad, by halfway its only got half to do I can make it etc. Still by the last one the sweat is mixing with the tears and my legs are shredded. And yet a week or so later i will be doing it again.

    Love it…

    Alan
    Alan

    August 20, 2016

    Reading this brought to mind how I had not done this workout in quite some time, so I hopped on the bike at 6 this morning to find that Revolver still sucks – and I say that with the highest esteem. Thank you for the painful reminder.

    Ross Fripp
    Ross Fripp

    August 19, 2016

    Hideously wonderful workout which, within 4-5 efforts leaves you thinking “how the hell am I going to finish this?” but you do, some how!

    It can be a good steep hill simulator….. Put the bike on a riser block, and do some efforts standing, some seated at around 70rpm or so.

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